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Season Six, Episode Fifteen – ‘Catch-38’

I’m being forced to watch this episode on YouTube, complete with Portuguese subtitles because I can’t find the right disc at the moment. This isn’t really a problem considering the subtitles were probably the most entertaining part of the show. Damning it all with faint praise perhaps, but better than no praise. Incidentally the title of this episode reminds me of my favourite book of all time , Catch-22, which is a must read for anybody who considers themselves to be a vaguely intelligent person.

Carrie reached a relationship landmark with Alexander when he gave her the keys to his apartment. Big news sure, but I was paying more attention to Carrie’s silk gloves. I love the feel of silk, but I always feel vaguely sick when I see it on hands, especially the gnarled beasts which wrap round Carrie’s fingers.

Samantha heard back from her breast cancer results. Life sure travels fast for people in this show, it seems like only yesterday when she was diagnosed. It was of course the last episode, which baffles me some what. The slow build is completely non-existent, a storyline like this could have been season wide, as opposed to being shunted on at the arse end of this one. Still, I suppose Samantha wouldn’t mind being shunted arse first at the end of something.

The doctor was called Doctor Pinker which made me laugh. Couldn’t have been the same doctor which Gay Stanford uses, as that would be Doctor Brown. The results indicated the successful removal of the lump, but chemotherapy was strongly recommended. Samantha was outraged when the doctor inferred that one of the reasons she may have gotten cancer was because motherless. Cancer is surely a small price to pay for no mini Sam or Samantha’s running about fucking everything that moves.

Miranda and Steve went on a honeymoon, leaving Brady in the shaky hands of Carrie and Charlotte who both offered to look after him. Interestingly Samantha did not offer, which leaves me wondering exactly what she’s got going on in her life not to bother. When in Carrie’s care, the little bastard ran amok in Alexander’s apartment, and Brady was also there.

The honeymoon shot off to a sticky start after an initial bout of lovemaking. This was followed by Miranda being incapable of relaxation, fretting over forgetting her phone charger, and bemoaning the lack of television or internet. Sounds a lot like me whenever I leave Bowski towers, but a little more neurotic. In a bizarre scene, Steve said he wanted to wash Miranda’s hair, with a cheeky nod to the classic film ‘Out Of Africa’, but if it was any classic film it was reminiscent of Bridge On The River Kwai. The end of that film features Major Clipton uttering ‘Madness, madness!!!’, a quote that ran through my mind when Miranda got soap in her eyes. It was that sort of episode.

Alexander revealed that he was a father, and that he couldn’t, and didn’t want any more children. Carrie was initially happy with that, but was concerned that he wouldn’t change his mind in the future. That man really has the hands of a dancer and the wings of an angel. What followed was the most mundane, tedious and dull conversation I’ve ever bore witness to, and I once went to a lecture on 17th century bridal wear. It was so boring that my eyes flickered to an article on tap dancing in Africa. Over two thousand words long, and when I finished the conversation was still going on. Never again please.

Samantha tried to use her media savvy to get a better doctor than Mr Pinker. My sympathy for her keeps eroding slowly but surely. It started with the fur coat she was sporting, and increased when she boasted that she had once blown rock star Mick Jagger backstage once. You know what they say about a rolling stone gathering no moss, or rather in this case, no chemo.

After moaning a lot, and having a conversation with a nun about masturbation, Samantha finally got her new doctor when she told the receptionist she was going out with Smith, who had taken her cancer news with typically fantastic grace, and all-American good looks. Charlotte and Harry banged each other which baby Brady saw. It was hard to tell which was balder, Harry’s head or Charlotte’s attempt at looking concerned.

In the end, we got love, life, and love again. Samantha got her appointment, Miranda finally came to terms with being nice to Steve, Alexander got his accent from Russia, and I get a kick out of having the most wonderful girlfriend in the world.


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