Being forgetful isn’t one of the worst personality traits in the world, but it’s definitely annoying. Sure, we’ve all got loads going on in our brains – for me it’s a constant battle between malaise and euphoria, but when something important has happened in your life, it’s usually good to remember it. Like getting married perhaps, a small fact which Carrie forgets when someone asks her what’s going on in her life. I assume that her brain was clouded by all the major events occurring in her life. After all, there aren’t enough clothes sales in the world.
The engagement memory loss was just another clusterfuck in an ever increasing calamity of errors in Carrie and Aidan’s relationship. Carrie isn’t even wearing the wedding ring on her finger, instead wearing it around her neck. Like a necklace. A wedding ‘ring’ on a necklace. She might as well have bent Aidan over and spanked him right there and then in front of everybody because that’s about as much respect as she’s giving him. Might as well wear the veil between her saggy fucking tits.
An episode of regret and disappointment for all concerned really here. Samantha was irate as her rich boss and sometime fuck buddy wouldn’t commit to a relationship. I was half interested in what was happening until my companion watching the show observed that Samantha looked like a goat from a particular angle. It got me thinking as all classic observations tend to do – Sex And The City characters as animals. Obviously Carrie’s a horse, Charlotte’s a particularly twitchy Manx cat, and Miranda reminds me a lot of the most despicable and disgusting creature the world has ever seen – the humble woman.
Why do people moan all the time anyway? Miranda’s moaning because she can’t get enthusiastic at the thought of having a bouncing baby boy. How could anyone not feel a slight thrill at the back of the neck at the thought of a Steve Jr in the world? Clearly Miranda, and almost definitely Charlotte who tried to get rid of the anguish she was feeling after her break up with Trey, by tap-dancing. And Carrie, constantly whining and moaning about anything and everything. Moving in with Aidan, getting married to Aidan – everything just seems like a struggle to her. She’s the sort of person who would eat a delicious sandwich and then moan about black people, an utter disgrace.
Honestly though, this whole episode reeked of a one legged midget attempting to moonwalk. The embarrassment of it all, I was cringing at some aspects. When a Perez Hilton esque gossip columnist cunt character not being able to get their cock up isn’t the lowest point of the show, then you really have to wonder how these people sleep at night.
I’ve been reading about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs recently, which is basically a theory on the units that make people well adjusted. They go up in order, so the basic stuff like breathing and eating are at the bottom, key components that make us function. The big guns like morality and lack of prejudice are right at the top, suggesting that you can only reach self actualization when you have morals and don’t judge people. You won’t be surprised to learn that judging from this theory, pretty much all the characters of Sex And The City limp along on the bottom rung, which also includes ‘sex’, inferring that we need sex to make us psychologically happy. Whilst that might be true, it’s not the only thing that makes us happy, which is where the dickheads on this show go wrong.
Gloom, despair and sadness make up the entire basis for this episode, which at six in the morning isn’t the sort of frivolity I was aiming for. Everything just made me sick and desolate, emotions summed up when Carrie and Aidan essentially broke up right next to a waterfall. Whilst it’s slightly mature that Carrie told Aidan that she wasn’t ready for marriage, that’s down to her hideously child-like personality which is gonna take a lot more than a new shiny ring to change. If she’s not ready at her age, when will she be? And for whom? Carrie is one of those people who says ‘I love you’ to everyone and doesn’t really mean it. Just don’t say it at all if you don’t feel it.
Or if you feel it, do something about it. Maybe Charlotte should have dealt with the Trey problem earlier, maybe Miranda needs to solve her ginger baby problem immediately, maybe Carrie should have slit her wrists and be done with it. There is just no progress here, except ironically for the oldest of the bunch. Samantha was genuinely affected by her boss not wanting to make their ‘relationship’ into an actual relationship rather than a fuck buddy scenario. It was a depressing, but I had to ask myself, was she just growing up? Can a leopard really change its spots? Can a forty-five year old woman really stop sleeping around after a lifetime of opening and entering that would put an automatic door to shame? Can I stop asking questions? Can I?
I just feel down you know. When Carrie told Aidan – with a straight face that she knew he didn’t trust her, it was almost the end of the world for me. Watching her skanky fucking face lighting up like a light bulb was too much to bear. Where are the heroes in this battered and embittered world? Bring back Steve, bring back Gay Stanford for fucks sake I am human and I want to be loved just like everybody else does.