Season Six, Episode Twenty – ‘An American Girl In Paris’ (Part Deux)

The final episode. The final garrison, the final stretch, the final curtain, the final countdown. Finally I am here, celebrating in my decaying filth that this really is it. I haven’t cured cancer, made an outstanding sandwich or told any funny jokes, but this is my own personal redemption, proof that when I put my [...]

Season Six, Episode Nineteen – ‘An American Girl In Paris’ (Part Une)

It’s the penultimate fucking installment of Sex And The City! I can’t believe it, what started after an idle thought between scratching my arse and playing Fifa has almost turned into a completed project. No more will I lay on my bed, thinking about whether it’s time to put the next disc in. I’m quite [...]

Season Six, Episode Eighteen – ‘Splat’

The Wonder Years. Let’s talk about that little gem of a programme for a little bit before we get into the Sex And The City grind. Great show, had all the components of a beautiful piece of television. The lead character being played by someone called ‘Fred Savage’, a Beatles song as the theme tune, [...]

Season Six, Episode Seventeen – ‘The Cold War’

Keep having really interesting dreams about animals. The other night I was a big bear, gamely wading through a jungle, scratching my back against a tree whilst a half-naked boy was trying to find his family. Then there was me as a potato head, amidst the chaos of a talking cowboy doll, and a little [...]

Season Six, Episode Sixteen – ‘Out Of The Frying Pan’

Breakfast. Despite being a huge fan of the breakfast of champions and all the pleasure and moisture that comes with it, I’m not a big breakfast man. They say it’s the most important meal of the day, but I’m unsure of that. Sure, I love a full English – sausage, bacon, fried egg, baked beans, [...]

Season Six, Episode Fifteen – ‘Catch-38′

I’m being forced to watch this episode on YouTube, complete with Portuguese subtitles because I can’t find the right disc at the moment. This isn’t really a problem considering the subtitles were probably the most entertaining part of the show. Damning it all with faint praise perhaps, but better than no praise. Incidentally the title [...]

Season Six, Episode Fourteen – ‘The Ick Factor’

There are a few things in my life that I have tried and failed at. The memorable banjo lessons of 2003, the heartbreaking Urdu practising of 2007, my current attempts to master ‘I Want You Back’ on my bass. This all seems prophetic to me considering how near I am to the finishing line of [...]

Season Six, Episode Thirteen – ‘Let There Be Light’

Having a sore throat has to be one of the worst things in the world. Sure, terminal illnesses, fractured limbs and broken hearts all hurt a lot, but that nagging feeling of wanting to cough but knowing it will hurt like hell is one I do not enjoy. We can cure cancer (to an extent), [...]

Season Six, Episode Twelve – ‘One’

The use of the word ‘one’ in the title obviously conjures up images of that cunt Bono and the awful song he wrote with the shit lyrics ‘One’. Music is a very personal thing for me, in that everything I listen to is amazing and fuck you if you disagree. Never trust someone who says [...]

Season Six, Episode Eleven – ‘The Dominoe Effect’

I drank half a beer today, which to me is a momentous occasion. ‘Momentous’, in that I still view alcohol as a complete waste of time, purely because it all tastes the same to me. Vodka the same as beer, sambuca the same as whiskey – all the alcohol in the world can’t wash down [...]